Swapping Thimbles for Condoms
Tinker Bell has become a pole dancer.
Peter Pan grew up and asked for a lap dance
in exchange to keep believing in fairies.
Marbles are now not the only balls
the Lost Boys care about,
they have left their play ships behind
and taken to the dumbbells to workout.
They all meet up at the bar after the gym
where James opens their beer bottles
with his hook after they have read up
on the calory count
to make sure they stay trim.
A game of darts thrown towards the balloons
placed as bras on Tinker Bell’s friends
and pop goes the fairy tale.
They weigh up the size of tits and ass
to decide which fairy to nail.
Then Frankenstein’s monster walks in
and any fairy still wearing knickers throws them at him.
Bolts and screws are all the sexy rage,
all they need to start rimming.
He picks them up, puts them under his arms
like an American football and shakes the ground
as he takes them upstairs,
while his father corrects everyone
when they address him as he,
offended and shocked to the core by the sound.
As he raises the hem on his skirt
he rushes to the other side of the bar
to hit the one who said it with his glove,
and says ‘I am a fisherthem.’
The Lost Boys get even more lost.
‘Aren’t you a doctor? What has fishing got to do with it?’
‘I am the new Jesus, the new world’s Baptist.
I need fish to perform my miracle
but even them are cynical and jump out of my net.’
The boys’ attention is swayed by a reflection
of their biceps in the bar mirror.
Victor leaves in a huff, goes back to his cold, bar stool
that comes into focus only when lightning strikes.
There he dreams about changing his body parts
so he can enjoy a good scissor.
Tinker Bell’s bra is full of presidents,
she has shaken all the coins from her body,
no longer taking cheap tips,
and Peter Pan has still hardly got it up.
He leaves before she has counted her cash.
He goes to his comfortable old rocker
and begins to remember his mother.
